Biblical
EQ
A
Christian Handbook For Emotional Transformation
Ó Copyright, John
Edmiston, 2001
Table Of Contents
How To Understand And Use This Book - 4
PART 1 – Jesus As
Our Model Of How Our Emotions Work - 5
Commencing The Journey - 6
Common
Questions About Emotions - 9
Can Jesus
Be Our Model For Biblical EQ? - 14
The Holy
Spirit And The Emotional Life of Jesus -21
The
Emotional Life Of The Apostles, Prophets and Great Christian Leaders - 30
The
Emotional Life of Carnal Christians -37
PART 2 – The
Inner self and Our Emotional World - 42
Perception
- 43
Perception
In and By The Spirit - 56
The
Thoughts and Intentions Of The Heart - 73
The
Learning Organization - 84
Emotions
And Our Physiology - 92
PART 3 – Practical
Techniques For Emotional Self-Mastery And Expression - 104
The
Masterful Mind - 105
Getting A
Handle On Our Emotions - 118
Acting On
And Reacting To Our Strong Emotions - 124
Recognizing
And Understanding Emotions In Others - 133
The
Appropriate Expression of Emotions - 143
Love Is A
Many Splendoured Thing - 149
Index -
159
Appendix 1
– Teacher’s Guide - 164
Further
References - 165
About the
Author - 168
How To Understand and Use This
Book
This is a Christian handbook on emotional transformation. Biblical EQ is about emotional competence, about being able to handle and discern emotions and express them wisely. The emphasis of the book is ongoing growth rather than healing. The book does not assume that the reader has emotional “problems” that need to be “fixed”. This is not a book for people with high levels of emotional pain to read to get better – though it may achieve that. Biblical EQ is a fitness manual rather than a diagnostic manual. Its focus is strength, health and maturity.
The aim of this book is to equip Christians, especially those in the ministry, by putting them in touch with the ground of their emotional being, getting them to commit to become emotionally mature and Christ-like, and helping with the correction of areas of imbalance and immaturity, then finally showing them how to express emotions with clarity, integrity and sensitivity in the context they are in. That’s a lot for one book and so Biblical EQ starts with some pretty solid foundations and build upwards because we are not tackling one emotion at a time here but actually trying to rebuild the Christian’s entire understanding of the emotional life of the believer from the ground up.
The first section, on Jesus as our model, deals with some of the basic overall biblical theology of emotions and is foundational to the rest of the book. It is written from an evangelical viewpoint and at a level that should suit most committed Christians. Its central premise is that Jesus Christ is the model for our emotional life and that the sanctification of our emotions is a work of grace involving the power of the Holy Spirit working in the committed Christian. Its pictures the ideal Christian as having grand and powerful emotions that are holy and good and which are wisely and appropriately expressed in God’s timing for His glory.
The second section, on the inner self and our emotional world, is perhaps the part of the book that has the most new teaching for many readers. It spends a lot of time looking at how emotions arise in our spirit, in our soul and from our body and how these complex interactions create our emotions and our character. It draws together many counseling techniques and Scriptural insights. It should lead the reader to a deep understanding of self and of how others arrive at the place they are emotionally. It is founded on a very literal and exhaustive treatment of the Scriptures and tries to work from the biblical data and carefully build an adequate understanding of the human person. Its central premise is that our inner self is not constant and fixed but is “being renewed day by day” and that we can be co-workers with God in this process of inner renewal.
The practical section is grounded in Proverbs-like general wisdom and common sense and much will be familiar territory to some readers, however it is useful to “be stirred up by way of reminder”. It deals with our experience of self-mastery, emotions and issues of emotional regulation, how we can read other people’s emotions and how to express those emotions appropriately in love. It also deals with how to tap into God’s love so we can minister to others. Its central premise is that God links to us through faith, which works through love, which employs specific focused wisdom and knowledge, to do good deeds and that on our side of the equation we facilitate this process by fixing our minds firmly on Christ and mastering our personal responses.
This book tries to give you both the relationship aspects and the specific focused wisdom and knowledge aspects of biblical EQ. References for further reading, a teachers guide and an exhaustive index has been provided for those who want to dip into the book to research a particular issue. A seminar manual is also available as a separate publication.
Part One
Jesus As Our Model
Commencing
the Journey
(Proverbs 4:23 NKJV) Keep your heart with all diligence, For out
of it spring the issues of life.
Good emotional
management is a highly needed commodity in Christian work. Without it we can
unintentionally make a complete mess out of our service for God. One emotional
explosion at the wrong moment can be held against us for a long time to come
and we are often judged by others on how we handle our emotions. Many very
productive Christian workers have had to leave the ministry because they just
could not manage their emotions well and this marred all their relationships.
So we need to do something – but what can we do? The good secular materials
available do not draw on the resources that the Holy Spirit can
bring to emotional transformation and few good Christian resources exist that
combine biblical insights with good clinical data. This book is an attempt to
do that.
In order to do
this I have had to start with first principles and work out a sort of biblical
paradigm with Jesus at its center and the emotional life of Jesus as our model.
The Holy Spirit is seen as the main power behind emotional transformation. Also
tips and techniques from secular authors as well as their data has been
incorporated where this material is “Christian-compatible” so to speak. So this
book is divided into three sections, the biblical basics, discussion of the
inner self and our emotions, and practical tips on self-mastery and emotional
expression. Each of these sections has five or six chapters each. The biblical
section discusses some foundational teaching about the Christian emotional life,
the “inner self” section looks at how emotions arise in our spirit and soul and
are influenced by our body and how our inner emotional life is formed, finally
the practical section looks at our experience and understanding of emotions and
how they should be best expressed.
What is EQ?
Emotional
intelligence is the term we use to describe
a complex set of human abilities related to emotional management. The four key
aspects of emotional intelligence as described by Mayer and Salovey (the
pioneer researchers in the area) are:
1.
Emotional identification, perception and expression
2.
Emotional facilitation of thought
3.
Emotional understanding
4.
Emotional management
Various
other researchers, most notably Daniel Goleman, have broken these into various
sub-factors which are continually being reviewed. Recent findings in neurology
have contributed greatly to our understanding of where emotions arise in the
brain. The field is fluid and a final decision on what finally constitutes EQ
has not been entirely reached yet and there are two or three main schools.
However much is coming out of these studies that is very interesting from a
Christian perspective, as we shall see as we go along.
What Is
Biblical EQ?
This
is the biblical perspective on the above four key skill areas. It doesn't
neglect the findings of neuroscience but it adds in the transforming power of
the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of Proverbs. It
has as its model the emotional life of Jesus Christ with His personal presence,
self-control, emotional expressiveness and discernment of situations. Thus it
has a clear pattern, a master plan that can be used to analyse theories and to
determine what is true and false, wise and unwise. Secular theories have no
"ideal person" to point to - they merely assemble ideals from their
own theories and worldview. In Jesus we have a model , a guide, a point to aim
our teaching towards and this is invaluable.
The
Christian believer is to aspire to have the emotional life of Christ Jesus for
that is very much part of being "in His image". Above all Biblical EQ
is biblical - founded on faith in the
inspired, inerrant and authoritative Scriptures.
The Failure Of
The Secular Models of EQ
After
reading various EQ books you know that emotions are important, that you should
handle them better and a lot about how they arose within you, but you are not
shown how to conquer them. In fact many of the EQ programs based on this kind
of research have had fairly middling results. The corporate sector is pulling
back from them, partly because of recession but partly because they are not
delivering as expected. Why is this so? Why has the secular approach to emotional intelligence
fizzled?
Firstly
they have a philosophical underpinning that has no definite direction. There is
nothing intrinsic to the theory that tells them what to aim for when helping a
person achieve a higher level of emotional intelligence. Apart from being in
touch with ones emotions and being able to express them accurately,
appropriately and responsibly there is no “big picture” of what the emotionally
intelligent person should turn out like. People end up confused and perplexed.
Theories seem at variance with each other and the result is that some
practitioners are almost Zen Buddhists while others are extremely businesslike,
manipulative and pragmatic. Without any agreement on what an ideal person is
they cannot make much real progress.
Secondly
much of the work of Goleman and others involves a model steeped in a medical
and neurological framework that sees our responses as entirely conditioned by
biology, genetics and environment. Alteration of responses is through
medication, education and behavior modification. After a while people start to
feel depersonalized by this approach, and react against the diminution of human
responsibility that seems to be the outcome. It is so reductionistic and
materialistic that after some initial enthusiasm people are repelled.
Thirdly
prayer and spiritual disciplines are marginalized in the literature despite
their utility. For instance on page 75 of Goleman's first book Emotional
Intelligence he says "Finally, at least some people are able
to find relief from their melancholy in turning to a transcendent power. Tice
(a researcher into depression) told me "Praying, if you are very
religious, works for all moods, especially depression". Despite this obvious therapeutic value for prayer
it is never again referred to in Goleman's book. People know religion works -
they are just refusing to admit it much in print.
Should
we then throw out their work entirely? Not at all. Truth is truth and
measurements are measurements. There is an enormous amount of good work and
wise information in the current EQ literature. It can be, and is, very helpful
in giving us understanding of how our emotions work. However it does not give
us a whole lot of power to transform them. The power to defeat deep and
difficult emotions comes from God and involves the human spirit coming into contact with God's
Spirit. So in this book we shall tend to turn to secular sources to explain much of the
physiology and the mechanisms of emotion and to Christian sources for the power
to deal with them.
To
get answers that genuinely help people we need two things, a clear destination,
and the power to get there in a reasonable amount of time. Our destination is
the image of Christ Jesus, our power to get there is the infilling with and
transforming work of the Holy Spirit. These are just the some of the great advantages of the gospel, we
have hope, and we have lots of hope!
Thus
the central premise of the book is that Christians can have their emotional life
redeemed so that it is transformed to mirror the emotional life of Jesus Christ
and that the Holy Spirit’s power and grace is the key to this process. This
involves renewing seven key aspects which will be discussed in
detail as we move along:
1.
Renewing
our basic perceptions of reality and our perspective on life.
2.
Renewing
our individual belief system.
3.
Renewing
the purposes and intents of our heart.
4.
Renewing
our physical bodies and their influence on our emotions.
5.
Renewing
our ability to be aware of and to understand our own emotions.
6.
Renewing
our ability to understand the emotions of other people.
7.
Renewing
our ability to appropriately express emotion according to the desire of the
Holy Spirit.
The
first few of these are a very deep work. It takes effort, courage and time to
change one’s perspective on life or to review and change core beliefs, thoughts
and intentions. However unless this is done the foundations are not strong and any
positive emotional changes will be temporary at best. Thus it is important that
you work through the foundational chapters and understand them. They are the
chapters which will give you the deepest wisdom to assist you with your
emotional growth. Before we go much further we need to answer a few of the
common questions about emotions and that is the topic of the next chapter .
.
(Proverbs
29:11 NKJV) A fool vents all his
feelings, But a wise man holds them back.
While God is emotional there are some emotions that God
never has. God is never envious, lustful, greedy, bitter with selfish ambition,
small-minded, or petty. Neither is he anxious or fretful but dwells in perfect
peace. His emotions are positive, holy, noble and appropriate. God is light and
in Him there is no darkness at all. Since we are called to be “in the image of
God”, then whatever else that means, it means that at the end of our Christian
maturity, our emotions should in some measure share these divine qualities. We
should be “walking in the light”.
Thus godliness
means forsaking some emotions and embracing others. We should be utterly free
from unholy and fleshly emotions and moving toward mature and holy emotional
responses. The mature saint of God is
filled with love and utterly free from bitter envy and selfish ambition. (James
3:15-18). Petty covetous worldly longings are replaced by the love of the
Father (1 John 2:15-17) and perfect love casts our fear so that we dwell in
quietness, peace and confidence (1 John 4:18, Isaiah 26:3). Holy people do not
easily fly into rages or engage in back-biting and quarrelling rather they are
centred people full of love, joy and peace (Galatians 5:19-23). There is thus a
grand and holy emotional authenticity that
accompanies maturity in Christ.
As a rough guide
our emotions can be broken down into three classes:
Holy emotions – those experienced by God such as compassion, joy,
and holy indignation and those that accompany life in the Spirit such as
praise, worship and adoration. These emotions are derived from the kingdom of
light and the Sprit (Ephesians 5:18-21, Colossians 3:16-17, Galatians 5:22,23)
and are in agreement with true wisdom
(James 3:17,18) They are the emotions of Christ in us. They are not necessarily
religious or pious emotions. Admiring a flower or delighting in beautiful music
or focussing on the beautiful and the good can be just as holy as going to
church. (Philippians 4:8)
Human emotions – based in our
human situation and the created order and shared by Jesus during His time on
earth. This includes emotions such as grief, pain, fear, abandonment, sadness
and sorrow, anxiety, stress, anguish and vulnerability. These emotions are well chronicled in the
Psalms. For the Christian they are temporary and in eternity there shall be no
more crying or sadness or pain (Revelation 21:4). While these emotions may feel
bad they are not evil or toxic. They can be painful but they are not poisonous.
Fleshly emotions – are poisonous and destructive and include toxic
emotions such as malice, envy, selfish ambition, sensuality, bitterness,
overpowering lusts and murderous hatred. They are closely tied up with the
works of the flesh and with evil deeds. Their outcome is spiritual death. These
emotions were not part of mankind at Creation and are not “natural human
reactions” (For instance grief is a natural human reaction but bitterness is
fleshly. One can have “good grief” without a trace of bitterness. Bitterness is
not natural to the human condition.) Rather these emotions are derived from the
kingdom of darkness and have their source in a dark wisdom (James 3:14-16).
This
classification helps us see the relative value of our emotional responses and
to use the techniques described in the succeeding chapters to assist with our
sanctification. It also puts the lie to the old humanist rubric “there are no
right or wrong emotions.” All emotions
are not equal. Some are of much higher value than others and some emotions and
impulses are positively wrong. This classification also goes a bit beyond the
black and white classification of emotions as ‘spiritual” or “unspiritual” that
causes so much pain in traditional missionary circles. When pain and
disappointment are
seen as “unspiritual” we simply add to the burden the person is carrying. Hurt,
disappointment, pain and frustration are valid human emotions stemming from our
creatureliness encountering a fallen world. Human beings were created good but
mortal and it is as we explore this mortality that we find out many useful
things about ourselves. The above simple classification also saves us from the
error of stopping there with our human emotions and being content simply to
explore ourselves at that level. It tells us there is something higher,
something beyond our mortality and that it is as we focus on our immortality in
Christ that we develop the highest and noblest parts of our being.
We are thus called
to participate in the holy emotions so that they transcend the human emotions
and overcome the fleshly emotions. By this I mean that we must choose our
emotional level and which emotions we will be gripped by. When disappointment strikes we can choose to respond with holy emotions and pray
through until we trust God and can praise Him as the Psalmist did or we can
respond at the human level and sit down
disconsolate in human misery and gradually see it through or we can respond
from fleshly emotions and lash out in anger, bitterness, distrust and revenge.
Consider Paul in jail in Philippi in Acts 16. He praised God, sang psalms and
rejoiced thus transcending the human emotions of pain and discomfort and
effectively banishing any fleshly emotions such as bitterness or desire for
revenge. Thus Paul participated in holy emotions so that they transcended the
human emotions and overcame the fleshly emotions. The human emotions are not
denied or seen as wrong rather they are acknowledged but not focussed on. They
are transcended. The saint focuses on and deliberately chooses to move toward
the holy emotions. Prayer, fasting, praise and worship, reading Scripture,
meditating on good teaching and doing good works are all helpful in this
process. However above and beyond these things we need the work of the Holy
Spirit.
The Holy Spirit responds differently to each of theses three categories of emotion. The Holy Spirit rejoices and assists us when we engage in holy responses. He produces them within us so they can justly be called “the fruit of the Spirit”. (Romans chapters 8 & 12, and Galatians 5) On the other hand the Holy Spirit comforts us when the human emotions such as grief overwhelm us (see 2 Corinthians 1). Finally He is determined to break the grip of fleshly emotions such as hatred, lust and revenge. In fact the Spirit wars against such impulses so that we cannot fully give way to our worst desires (Galatians 5:16-18). Thus the Holy Spirit produces holy emotions, comforts overwhelming human emotions and wars against fleshly emotions. However we have a choice in the matter. We can take heed of the Spirit’s promptings or we can discard them in fleshly rebellion. This leads Paul to say that the mind set on the flesh and its fractious emotions “is death” but the mind set on the Spirit with His holy emotions is “life and peace”(Romans 8:5,6).
As we will see in other chapters, the Spirit renews the mind with its personal perspective and belief structure. The renewed mind becomes centred on God and can be validly called “the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:14-16). Thus as the mind is redeemed and renewed and set on the Spirit life and peace result. This life and peace that results from a well disciplined and renewed mind is the aim of this book. This simple classification of emotions will be vastly expanded as the complexities and subtleties of the emotional life of the Christian life are explored. Our emotions need redemption if they are to become holy and the focus of all redemption is Jesus Christ who will be our model and pattern for biblical EQ.
How Come
Christians Seem To Stop Changing Emotionally After A Few Years?
Massive
early transformation followed by accommodation to religious sub-cultural norms
is a fairly common pattern among Christians from emotionally damaging
childhoods. Church life provides many little nooks and crannies where we can
hide from the Holy Spirit and the hard work of emotional
transformation. In many cases painful emotions are not understood by the clergy
and even by some Christian counselors and damage is done. This book will seek
to bring wisdom and balance to the Christian handling of emotions. However all
is not the fault of the clergy, church culture or inadequate theological and
counseling training. Much is our own fault. Each of us has defense mechanisms
against change such as rationalization, projection, and denial. We dodge
dealing with God and we duck change.
Yet
I believe one of the greatest obstacles to emotional health in Christian
circles is that we simply don't understand our emotions or we lack proper
mechanisms for dealing with them. Many Christians are ignorant of Scriptural
teaching on emotional life and so are left stranded with a few basic techniques
that barely scratch the surface of the problem. In a puzzling , almost
paradoxical way, we also take our
emotions too seriously and make them the source of our spiritual self-esteem. When we feel holy and good and positive we judge ourselves as being
"up" spiritually and when we are feeling distant or depressed we
judge ourselves as being "down" spiritually. In fact the connection between emotions and
spirituality is fairly loose. Some very happy optimistic people are carnal and
worldly, while some serious gloomy types are deeply spiritual - and the reverse
applies as well. While it is certainly preferable to feel good and to
"rejoice in the Lord always" even the apostle Paul admits to times of
intense pressure and discouragement. We see this particularly in his letters to
the Corinthians. And, of course, Jesus was known as " a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief..". Even
tempting emotions need not be sinful. Jesus was "tempted in all things as
we are, yet without sin". Yet there is indeed a deep connection between
our emotions and our character.
The common observation of
philosophers and theologians as diverse as Aristotle and C.S.Lewis has been
that right affections and emotions form the basis for right morality.
If we love the good and abhor the evil we are far more likely to be good. And
if we hate bribes and value integrity we are far more likely to be honest.
Ethics is not a purely intellectual exercise. From
antiquity it has involved feeling,
thinking and acting rightly. True agape love has emotions that are ethical. “Love
does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).
Being horrified by certain sins is a good and moral thing. Rejoicing in the
truth is a right emotional response for the disciple. Our emotional valuation
of life should be in agreement with our ethical stance. In biblical terms the
person who is right emotionally loves good and hates evil. In their emotions
they value what God values. The emotionally perfected Christian is not just
“together” or integrated in the secular sense rather they are righteous and
just and holy and perfectly loving. Their emotions agree with their ethics
which agree with the Scriptures which agree with God.
What we like and dislike
gradually shapes the course of our life and character. This is why TV and advertising can have such
a profound effect. It teaches us to like a certain lifestyle filled with
material things and to value being sexy and attractive. It teaches us, ever so
gradually not to dislike fornication and adultery. Rarely does it blatantly say
“adultery is good” – it just teaches people to like the idea of being
attractive to many people and to be quietly thrilled by the notion of perhaps
having many sexual partners. Thus, over time their ethical resolve is weakened,
the emotions that drive holiness are eroded and thousands of Christians fall
into sin they would not have contemplated too many years ago. What we like and
dislike, what we value and esteem, is critical to what we will
eventually become.
Unfortunately we have
divorced emotions from ethics. We see ethics as “our opinion” about things
not our reaction to things. At times we
even train ourselves to think one way and feel another. We ask people to be
righteous and biblical yet feel embarrassed at our fellow Christian who get
genuinely get angry over sin and moral decay. By doing this we say its Ok to
just have notions not emotions. That Christianity is best kept in the head not
in the heart. Then we wonder why they do not give and why they do not commit to
discipleship! We teach Christian young people to be sexy, sophisticated and
emotionally unshockable then expect them to value chastity. We are asking the
impossible.
Our emotions reflect what
we value and cherish, admire and love and they also reflect what we dislike
loath and reject. Our emotions undergird our choices and our choices form the
foundations for our character and destiny. If our emotions are askew our
choices and destiny will surely follow suite. During my university years I
often tutored high school students in calculus. The biggest obstacle was nearly
always emotional rather than intellectual. It was moving the student past
emotional valuations such as “I hate
maths” and “homework is horrible”. Because they had been taught by parents and
peers that mathematics was odious and loathsome and homework was dull they were
not doing their work. Because they were not doing their work they were failing
mathematics. If they failed mathematics they would not get into university in
Australia or into a decent career. Their emotional attitude, learned from others,
was affecting their entire future.
The ability to delay
gratification is fundamental to the development of good
character. An experiment was set up where small children were given a choice:
one marshmallow now, or two in ten minutes time. To get two marshmallows they
had to delay gratification - a basic skill in managing and discipling their
emotions. When the children were then followed up in a longitudinal study the
difference between the “grabbers” and the “patient” was incredible. The most
impatient and impulsive achieved less and got into trouble more while the most
patient were more successful in practically every sphere of life. In fact this
test proved more predictive of success at school and in life than IQ tests or
any other social variable. This simple act of emotional management was a key to
later success in life.
Thus right emotions are an important part of right character and right ethics and right emotions undergird right choices and right destiny. To emotionally rejoice in truth, to celebrate justice, to delight in noble actions and to embrace compassion and mercy is to have emotions that complement our faith. On the other hand confused emotions can destabilise us and create conflicts. Finally the presence of strong lustful and evil emotions can drive us to sin and blind us to truth. Thus sorting ourselves out emotionally is much more than just getting our act together. It is getting our heart in line with our faith and with our God. But which way is up? How can we know which emotions are right, which are wrong and which are neutral? How can we get an idea of what an emotionally together and righteous and holy Christian looks like? As in everything else Jesus is our model and that is the subject of the next chapter
Can Jesus Be Our Model For Biblical EQ?
(Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV) Therefore we also, since we are surrounded
by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin
which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set
before us, {2} looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who
for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and
has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
It
is one of the key teachings of Christianity that our Master and Model is Jesus
Christ and we are to be conformed into His image and be like Him in all
respects. Lets look at two well-known verses in this regard:
(Romans 8:29 NASB) For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to
become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among
many brethren;
(Ephesians 4:15 NASB) but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ,
God's
plan for our lives is that we become conformed to the image of His Son. Now to
"grow up in all aspects into Him" includes the emotional aspects of
the nature of Jesus Christ. Becoming emotionally mature and skilled is part of
our sanctification - but it is only a part. There are many other aspects of
sanctification as well such as faith, knowledge and purity. Growing up
emotionally is important and it’s the part of sanctification that this book
will focus on but please don't get the impression that I think Biblical EQ is all
there is to sanctification.
Is Jesus
Christ An Appropriate Model For Emotional Maturity?
There
are a number of objections that people might think of against using Jesus Christ as our Model of EQ:
1.
The
standard's too high, the idea is terrifying, it just gives me a panic attack to
think of it. I can never be like that.
2.
He
was God and sinless, I'm neither. He had an unfair advantage. What's possible
for him is just not possible for me.
3.
There
isn't enough information in Scripture to make a judgment. Its an argument from
silence. You can just make Jesus into whatever you want Him to be to suit your
purposes.
4.
He
was Jewish and lived in the Third World 2000 years ago and just ambled around
the place healing lepers. What would He know about the pressures of corporate
life and the emotional jungle that my office is? OR I'm a woman, He was a man and totally different emotionally. Its
just silly to ask me to be like Jesus.
5.
Jesus
was a prophet and had the emotions of a prophet. I could never be that
confrontational - its not my spiritual gift.
6.
Jesus?
High EQ? Kind of lacking in social skills if you ask me! I'm much more tactful
and artful that that. Don't ask me to act in ways that get you nailed to a lump
of wood.
Well
lets look at some ways we can answer those objections and the assumptions that
underlie them.
Objection 1: The Standard Is Too High
Solution: Jumping Off Jacob's Ladder - Getting Rid Of Legalism Over Emotions
Many evangelicals have a "Jacob's Ladder" view of the spiritual life with Jesus at the top and host of angels in-between and Christians
climbing up rung by painful rung. The idea is to ascend to perfection, to
strive to arrive. One slip and you tumble to the bottom to start all over
again. Those that adhere to this view of spirituality are always envying those
ahead of them, clinging on to the ladder for dear life, and having not too much
to do with those “below” lest they get dragged down.
This view of the Christian life is thoroughly
unbiblical. Ephesians 2:6 tells us that all those who are in Christ are already
seated with Him in heavenly realms and Hebrews 12 tells us that we have
come (past tense) to the Heavenly Zion. In Christ we have already arrived
in terms of spiritual status. There is no ladder and if there is all born-again
Christians are standing shoulder to shoulder on the top rung as brothers of
Jesus Christ (Hebrews 2:10-15). We have
been saved by grace and not by our own spiritual strivings (Eph 2:8-10) and
there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) including
condemnation about our emotional life.
Aspiring to be like Jesus is not a matter of status
or spiritual ascent. It’s a journey, a destination, a joyous arriving. It was
what we were made to be like from all eternity. If we view our emotional life
as an indicator of spiritual status then it will be utterly terrifying to think
of Jesus as our model. Every emotional insecurity will seem a "sin"
and every lustful thought a pathway to Hell. If we judge ourselves and rate our
spiritual life by the difference between our
emotional life and the emotional life of Christ, by how far we have yet to go
on our imaginary Jacob's ladder, then all we will feel is endless guilt and
insecurity. By trying to go up, you will go under.